Wheels Keep Spinning

Alright, not a lot is going on.  I guess that is good.  I am still really slow and limpy, I am beginning to abandon hope that the nerves are going to repair.  I don't know how to measure if there is any progress with that.  The other day I was walking and rolled my ankle a little onto the left side of my foot and listed hard because I have little feeling or strength yet.  Thankfully the couch was there so I caught myself.  I think perhaps tennis is still out of the question... I like tennis too.... Oh well.  

My leg muscle is still cramping up especially if I try to make it work.  I walked up the hill from the neighbor's house and tried to walk faster than normal slow.  That night, all night, that whole leg twisted like heads in the Exorcist.  I still can't stand on my toes or run.  I didn't run before so that's ok, but I'm shortish so I can't reach a lot of stuff.  If something falls on the ground, I still just look at it and think "Darn, too bad, I liked that too.  Well, it's gone now".   Getting off the ground?  I look like a turtle stuck on it's back, flailing about pathetically.  Sexy.  And I think I may never be able to kick someone in the head a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer, unless of course they are already on the ground and passed out or otherwise immobilized.   

So, occasionally these little facts trigger massive bouts of self pity and annoyance.  I get all "woe is me! Seriously, woe is me". Dammit.  

Ok, this sounds whiny and....whiny.  It's not all doom and gloom, I'm sure.  I am pretty confident around my horses, I'm not riding yet but I don't worry they are going to just knock me over and eat me as much.  I have a new low impact hobby of making soap, pounds and pounds of homemade soap...so if my horses do knock me down at least I can get clean again.  I having gotten really comfortable asking people I don't know to carry stuff for me.  "You! Yes, you able bodied looking person....will you carry this box of work stuff out to my car?" People now sneak by my office door the same way the only person with a pickup truck sneaks by a moving neighbor.  And really, I'm not in a lot of pain I'm just stiff and stiff is not too bad compared to what it could be!  

The wheels keep spinning.  I'm bound to get some traction sooner or later....right? Time will tell. 

Soap...soap...soap.